Monday, February 03, 2014

Super Blowout for Seattle!

Hello, everybody. In what was one of the most lopsided finishes in history, the Seattle Seahawks ran circles around the Denver Broncos 43-8 in Super Bowl XLVIII Sunday night. Fueled by their powerful defense, linebacker Malcolm Smith was named the game's MVP, giving the Broncos' Peyton Manning the worst defeat of his career.

A blowout Super Bowl like this has also resulted into blowout ratings. The game pulled in a new all-time record 111.5 million viewers, knocking the series finale of "M*A*S*H" out of the top five!!!

Maybe it was because of New Jersey natives Queen Latifah and opera superstar Renee Fleming with "America The Beautiful" and the "Star-Spangled Banner" respectively before kickoff. Maybe it was because of the unseasonably warm climates of MetLife Stadium (49 degrees!), with fears that a blizzard might postpone the big game. Maybe it was because of Hall of Famer Joe Namath and his coat that made the folks at PETA switch to the Puppy Bowl. Maybe it was because of Bruno Mars at halftime with the Red Hot Chili Peppers, which I thought was excellent though Bruno, for the love of God, should get a haircut!

Or maybe, perhaps MAYBE, it was the commercials. Crude was out, class was in this time, and here were my top five favorites from the game:

5. Coca-Cola's "It's Beautiful" (remember the controversial Spanish version of our national anthem years ago? This one, on the other hand, wasn't like that in my opinion)

4. Bud Light's "Ian's Up For Whatever" (what really happens when you cast a llama, Minka Kelly, One Republic, and Arnold Schwarzenegger alongside an average Joe? Hilarity ensues!)

3. Radio Shack's "Phone Call" (Whatcha gonna do when the California Raisins, Jason from "Friday the 13th", ALF, Chucky from "Child's Play", Q*Bert, Mary Lou Retton, and Hulk Hogan clean out your very outdated store still full of boom boxes and Tandy computers and make an ass out of you?)

2. Audi's "Doberhuahua" (which was why the Puppy Bowl took a chunk of the Super Bowl's ratings this year)


And my number one favorite commercial from the Super Bowl which was also tops in "USA Today's" Ad Meter:

1. Budweiser's "Puppy Love"
(the King of Beers remained the King of Super Bowl ads, and this one was a prime, touching example)

There were others that failed to impress me, like Chrysler. They were tops on my list for three years in a row, but their "American Import" with Bob Dylan? They missed the mark this time. Scarlett Johansson's SodaStream ad (in which there was an alternate ending) also fizzled, as did Maserati's with Quvenzhane Wallis, Dannon Oikos' "Spill" after all the pre-game buzz, and newcomers Turbo Tax and Squarespace. Talk about $4 million for 30 seconds of ad time being pissed away.

The last Seattle sports team to ever win a major title was the 1979 Supersonics (now Oklahoma City Thunder). That 35-year drought has come to an end, as another trophy is coming their way...the Vince Lombardi Trophy. All of the Emerald City is still celebrating, as is my brother Lawrence in Tacoma and especially the whole state of Alaska, which has been Seahawk Country all along. And for this Super Bowl blowout, at least they, uh, "smoked" Manning and company.

Now while all this was happening, there was one major story developing on the other end of the George Washington Bridge: Philip Seymour Hoffman, who won an Oscar in 2006 for "Capote" and has also starred in "The Hunger Games" among other films, was found dead in his New York City apartment late Sunday morning of an apparent drug overdose; he was 46. An autopsy was conducted Monday while we have learned new details on his tragic death, as Hoffman had a syringe in his arm and packets of heroin stamped with an ace of hearts symbol.

The actor joined the "Hunger Games" franchise with "Catching Fire" and "Mockingjay"; he was here in Atlanta working on both films. Lionsgate has announced that Hoffman won't be replaced and said in a statement: "Philip Seymour Hoffman was a singular talent and one of the most gifted actors of our generation. We're very fortunate that he graced our 'Hunger Games' family. Losing him in his prime is a tragedy, and we send our deepest condolences to Philip's family."

This is the second time in seven months that we have lost someone who was in the prime of his or her life; Cory Monteith is the other. And after that other week, I hope Philip Seymour Hoffman serves as a wake-up call to Justin Bieber after his DUI arrest/smiling mugshot.

And last but not least: President Obama's State of the Union Address snagged in a paltry 33 million viewers, as the state of Atlanta, Georgia was a whole lot more important. All last week, a violent snowstorm closed down schools and businesses and our freeways turning into something out of "The Walking Dead", as hundreds of cars took 12 hours or even more trying to get home from work. A lot of fingers have been pointed at Mayor Kasim Reed and Governor Nathan Deal to blame for all this, as Atlanta thought they learned from their mistakes stemming from the 2011 snowstorm that shut the city down for days though since then, they were well prepared.

Meanwhile, my folks back in Alaska had a nice laugh at all this, as at the same time, temperatures hit to as far as 60 degrees! But when it comes to heavy snow like we had, they are the experts at handling it.

Now all my life in Alaska, I've had my share of brutal winters, but Atlanta this time of year is a completely different animal. But whose winter is the 800-pound gorilla of them all? I settle this score once and for all in my...
Winter in Alaska vs. Winter in Atlanta

ON A CLEAR WINTER NIGHT YOU CAN SEE:
Winter in Alaska: The Northern Lights
Winter in Atlanta: Bunches of stars above the Atlanta skyline
Advantage: Draw

SCHOOL CLOSINGS DUE TO EXTREME WEATHER:
Alaska: None, but school children stay inside during recess
Atlanta: Lots, causing school children to catch up on Netflix
Advantage: Alaska

STUDDED TIRE USAGE:
Alaska: Yes, from November to May
Atlanta: No, if you have all-weather tires
Advantage: Alaska

BUNDLING UP FOR THE COLD:
Alaska: Carhartts and Sorel boots
Atlanta: Varies, as temperatures fall to as low as the single digits with below-zero windchills
Advantage: Draw

AND FINALLY, TRAFFIC:
Alaska: Normal
Atlanta: As we've seen last week, hellacious!
Advantage: Alaska, with auto-starts and cars plugged in at 20 degrees or colder

By a score of 5-2, experience triumphs over inexperience.

Both areas until the beginning of the year have never heard of the term "Polar Vortex", but I've been seeing the aftermath of last week's storm here with help large and small, from strangers helping out fellow strangers on the roads with food, water, and even cat litter, to business offering shelter and free meals to those who were stranded for hours. We never saw that same outpouring after the ice storm in Fairbanks a few months ago that left most without power for days.

But at the end of the day, Alaska has always been immune to severe winters as opposed to Atlanta, and for good reason: We're more well prepared than them, and there's no need for calling out our government leaders after all that mess. That's how they do it in the AK, and I have put that same expertise to work now in the ATL. So long and stay strong.

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