First up...For stealing millions of dollars that led to hardships for many who've invested their money to him, Bernie Madoff on Thursday got his just desserts: 150 years behind bars!
He has lived the good life in a penthouse overlooking the New York skyline, but his new home for the rest of his life will be anything but swanky: The Manhattan Correctional Center for a few months followed by a permanent home at a medium security prison far away from the Big Apple. And here's how his new daily schedule will go:
Lights on--6:00 am
Breakfast--6:30 am
Lunch--11:00 am
Dinner--5:00 pm
Lights out--11:00 pm
Yep, 11:00 pm means no more staying up late for any more bombardment of Madoff jokes from Leno, Kimmel, Ferguson, Letterman, and now Jimmy Fallon.
With the way our economy is going, I think Bernard Madoff got what he deserved on the eve of Friday the 13th, only that it's 1 1/2 centuries of bad luck instead of seven years. May he rot in hell for all eternity.
By the way, the news of Madoff being hauled to jail immediately knocked the Chris Brown/Rihanna/Octo-mom trifecta off the headlines, and yes, I've had enough of them.
Now, we don't know how much the 2009 Alaska Permanent Fund Dividend will be until this fall, but in 2013 thanks to the recession, the pay is going to be low...very low...how about $68 low!
That's the Alaska Permanent Fund Corp.'s projection, as we could be receiving around $1,500 this year before plunging back to three figures for the next three years ($845 in 2010, $244 in 2011, $345 in 2012) and then $593 in 2014 and finally back to four figures in 2018 with $1,771.
I don't know if I'm still going to be in Alaska by the time we get that $68 check, but can you imagine the commercials they'll be running? Hell, the only thing that $68 is good on is groceries!
The first full week of the 2009 Iditarod was capped off with Lance Mackey's arrival in Anvik Friday afternoon, making him the first musher to reach the Yukon River. His reward? A nice, nourshing eight-course meal compliments of the Anchorage Millennium Hotel; the menu consists of:
- Braised Pork Belly
- Heirloom Beets Salad
- Crab Agnolotti
- Alaskan Bouillibasse
- Breast of Duck
- Artisan Cheese Plate
- Flamed Strawberries Romanoff
- After-dinner mint of $3,500 (not edible, but...)
And last but not least...awards season already ended weeks ago with the Oscars and now spelling bee season has begun. Spelling bees for years have been the only way for kids across the country to gain instant fame and fortune without going on any of those stupid reality shows by doing one thing they love best (or dread most): spell the toughest words known to mankind. The road starts at local schools, followed by the citywide or statewide bees, and then on to the big one being the Scripps National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C.
Mississippi, one of my old stomping grounds, had their statewide bee this week televised on Mississippi Public Broadcasting (the same people who brought Clyde Frog into America's classrooms over 30 years ago); and watching it on YouTube, it was a cakewalk.
We all remember this scene from "A Boy Named Charlie Brown" in which Charlie went all the way to the spelling bee and was one of the only two contestants remaing. His misspelling of the word "beagle" as B-E-A-G-E-L cost him the championship.
I had my own "beagle" moment, albeit prematurely. It was 1993, and seeing that movie years prior made me want to take part in a spelling bee and hopefully claim my fame. A few days before the school bee, I was given a booklet of words that may be featured in the bee for me to study on; I concentrated on the tough words and I would spell each of them with my eyes closed.
So now we move on to the school spelling bee; I was attending Tanana Middle School at the time and there were a handful of other contestants besides me. Everything turned out smooth...until I hit a brick wall with "bosky", some Russian word. I spelled it B-O-S-K-E-Y...ding! It was all over immediately. My one and only shot at making the big time melted away for good because I didn't know there was no "e" in "bosky"! At least I tried my best.
This year's national bee is early this summer; who knows what words will be in their vocabulary. And you don't have to be a "numbnut" to find out. So long and stay strong.
