For the 16th year (and ninth online), it's the one year-end list that's a true original...unlike Letterman's stale Top Tens. It's...
20, (and in her EIGHTH STRAIGHT APPEARANCE!). The newly single Britney Spears (I would've ranked her higher if she put on some damn underwear!)
19. Vice President Dick Cheney shooting an unsuspecting man in the face (suddenly, it's 1986 and that "Duck Hunt" game all over again)
18. The Miami Heat winning the NBA title (and all over Florida, people were drunk on too many Metamucils)
17. John Leguizamo visiting Fairbanks to promote "Ice Age: The Meltdown" (now we know why "Basic Instinct 2" bombed)
16. "Heroes" reviving hopes for fourth-place NBC (I'll only start watching "Heroes" if Hayden Panettiere ditches her cheerleader outfit for a bikini)
15. The WB and UPN becoming The CW (while My Network TV still has a dedicated viewerbase -- all nine of them!)
14. "Crash" upsetting "Brokeback Mountain" for the Best Picture Oscar (moments later, riots at Pottery Barns escolated)
13. Mark Foley's sex-fueled online chats to a congressional page (just imagine if the page was one of those decoys from the "Dateline" predator stings)
12. The Seattle Seahawks almost winning Super Bowl XL (it's the Rolling Stones' fault!)
11. "Grey's Anatomy", "CSI", and "TNA Impact" in a three-way battle on Thursday nights (I'll take non-soap opera wrestling over McWhoever The Hell the Male Grey's Characters Call Themselves, please)
10. TIE: Katie Couric's new stint as "CBS Evening News" anchor (which I don't mind, but give me Peter Mansbridge!), and TomKat tying the knot (I had an invitation, but it was lost in Oprah Winfrey's mail)
9. The scandal involving Miss USA Tara Conner (imagine if it was Vanessa Williams...oh wait, it did, and she really moved on; see "Ugly Betty")
8. Zinedine Zidane's headbutt at the World Cup final (maybe "Hardball" should change its name to "Head Butt with Chris Matthews")
7. Michael Richards' racial rant at a comedy club (suddenly, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is laughing heartily)
6. YouTube (America's fastest-growing network...that is, if you just want to claim your 15 minutes of fame)
5. Rosie O'Donnell joining "The View", replacing Star Jones Reynolds (thanks to her takes on Clay Aiken and now Donald Trump, the show has become the WWE gone verbal)
4. Justin Timberlake back on the charts with "SexyBack" (did he compose that song just for Cameron Diaz or after his fantasies surrounding his Super Bowl incident?)
3. Mel Gibson's scandal after his DUI arrest (glad he didn't say anything about the Jews responsible for those child predator busts on "Dateline")
2. The Democrats cleaning House (which looks to be bad news for Bush even before 2008)
20, (and in her EIGHTH STRAIGHT APPEARANCE!). The newly single Britney Spears (I would've ranked her higher if she put on some damn underwear!)
19. Vice President Dick Cheney shooting an unsuspecting man in the face (suddenly, it's 1986 and that "Duck Hunt" game all over again)
18. The Miami Heat winning the NBA title (and all over Florida, people were drunk on too many Metamucils)
17. John Leguizamo visiting Fairbanks to promote "Ice Age: The Meltdown" (now we know why "Basic Instinct 2" bombed)
16. "Heroes" reviving hopes for fourth-place NBC (I'll only start watching "Heroes" if Hayden Panettiere ditches her cheerleader outfit for a bikini)
15. The WB and UPN becoming The CW (while My Network TV still has a dedicated viewerbase -- all nine of them!)
14. "Crash" upsetting "Brokeback Mountain" for the Best Picture Oscar (moments later, riots at Pottery Barns escolated)
13. Mark Foley's sex-fueled online chats to a congressional page (just imagine if the page was one of those decoys from the "Dateline" predator stings)
12. The Seattle Seahawks almost winning Super Bowl XL (it's the Rolling Stones' fault!)
11. "Grey's Anatomy", "CSI", and "TNA Impact" in a three-way battle on Thursday nights (I'll take non-soap opera wrestling over McWhoever The Hell the Male Grey's Characters Call Themselves, please)
10. TIE: Katie Couric's new stint as "CBS Evening News" anchor (which I don't mind, but give me Peter Mansbridge!), and TomKat tying the knot (I had an invitation, but it was lost in Oprah Winfrey's mail)
9. The scandal involving Miss USA Tara Conner (imagine if it was Vanessa Williams...oh wait, it did, and she really moved on; see "Ugly Betty")
8. Zinedine Zidane's headbutt at the World Cup final (maybe "Hardball" should change its name to "Head Butt with Chris Matthews")
7. Michael Richards' racial rant at a comedy club (suddenly, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is laughing heartily)
6. YouTube (America's fastest-growing network...that is, if you just want to claim your 15 minutes of fame)
5. Rosie O'Donnell joining "The View", replacing Star Jones Reynolds (thanks to her takes on Clay Aiken and now Donald Trump, the show has become the WWE gone verbal)
4. Justin Timberlake back on the charts with "SexyBack" (did he compose that song just for Cameron Diaz or after his fantasies surrounding his Super Bowl incident?)
3. Mel Gibson's scandal after his DUI arrest (glad he didn't say anything about the Jews responsible for those child predator busts on "Dateline")
2. The Democrats cleaning House (which looks to be bad news for Bush even before 2008)
And the #1 thing that had the whole world talking in 2006, even if you don't live here...
1. Alaska Governor Sarah Palin
(suddenly, The Last Frontier is about to get a little hotter!)
Tomorrow...I conclude the "Year In Review" with the final results of Sexiest Woman of 2006 (nobody cared about the men's poll anymore) and my predictions for 2007!
1. Alaska Governor Sarah Palin(suddenly, The Last Frontier is about to get a little hotter!)
Tomorrow...I conclude the "Year In Review" with the final results of Sexiest Woman of 2006 (nobody cared about the men's poll anymore) and my predictions for 2007!
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