Hello, everybody. This Tuesday, 230 candles will be on America's birthday cake as we celebrate our independence. And that also means it's time my 12th annual news quiz I call:
Fill In The Blank
1. The Carolina Hurricanes held off the Edmonton Oilers to win the ______ Cup
A) Stanley
B) Kelly
C) World...oh wait, we sucked in the World Cup!!
2. Taylor Hicks became the Season 5 winner of "American Idol", beating ________
A) Katharine McPhee
B) Kellie Pickler
C) Connie Chung
3. A pregnant Britney Spears channeled her Demi Moore to pose nude for the cover of _________
A) "Harper's Bazaar"
B) "Vanity Fair"
C) "EWWWWWWW!!!!" magazine
4. I finished this year's Midnight Sun Run in __________
A) 56 minutes, 40.8 seconds
B) 57 minutes, 20.2 seconds
C) Enough time for me to get me away from Connie Chung singing and that Paris Hilton music video
5. ANOTHER BRITNEY QUESTION: The last time she was pregnant, at a movie premiere she wore a shirt which said _________ with an arrow pointing to her stomach
A) "I Have the Golden Ticket"
B) "Oh, Baby Baby"
C) "Future Trailer Trash" (followed by a sound of a baby coughing)
6. With President Bush's approval rate continuing its decline, the _________ are poised to take back Capitol Hill in November's election
A) Democrats
B) Republicans
C) People who've haven't watched anything on NBC
7. Instead of food and other necessities, diamonds, vacations, and even "Girls Gone Wild" videos were spent using debit cards provided by _________ for the Hurricane Katrina victims
A) FEMA
B) American Red Cross
C) Online child predators looking for underage sex and then get busted by "Dateline NBC"
8. In March, John Leguizamo visited Fairbanks to help open a kids' ice park devoted to ________
A) "Ice Age: The Meltdown"
B) "Cars"
C) Any film besides "Basic Instinct 2" that's not bound to
suck at the box office
9. This fall, The WB and UPN will be ceasing to become ________
A) The CW
B) My Network TV
C) A network determined to bury NBC to fifth place
10. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt gave birth to Shiloh Jolie-Pitt in _________
A) Namibia
B) South Africa
C) Some African country we don't even give a damn about
11. James Frey wrote "A Million Little _______", but then admitted he fabricated it all up
A) Pieces
B) Stories
C) Lies That Would Make Oprah Tear Out Her Hair and Scold Him in Disgust, Just Like I Did With Two Of My Classmates Who Didn't Stick Around for John Leguizamo When He Visited Fairbanks In March!!!
Fill In The Blank
1. The Carolina Hurricanes held off the Edmonton Oilers to win the ______ Cup
A) Stanley
B) Kelly
C) World...oh wait, we sucked in the World Cup!!
2. Taylor Hicks became the Season 5 winner of "American Idol", beating ________
A) Katharine McPhee
B) Kellie Pickler
C) Connie Chung
3. A pregnant Britney Spears channeled her Demi Moore to pose nude for the cover of _________
A) "Harper's Bazaar"
B) "Vanity Fair"
C) "EWWWWWWW!!!!" magazine
4. I finished this year's Midnight Sun Run in __________
A) 56 minutes, 40.8 seconds
B) 57 minutes, 20.2 seconds
C) Enough time for me to get me away from Connie Chung singing and that Paris Hilton music video
5. ANOTHER BRITNEY QUESTION: The last time she was pregnant, at a movie premiere she wore a shirt which said _________ with an arrow pointing to her stomach
A) "I Have the Golden Ticket"
B) "Oh, Baby Baby"
C) "Future Trailer Trash" (followed by a sound of a baby coughing)
6. With President Bush's approval rate continuing its decline, the _________ are poised to take back Capitol Hill in November's election
A) Democrats
B) Republicans
C) People who've haven't watched anything on NBC
7. Instead of food and other necessities, diamonds, vacations, and even "Girls Gone Wild" videos were spent using debit cards provided by _________ for the Hurricane Katrina victims
A) FEMA
B) American Red Cross
C) Online child predators looking for underage sex and then get busted by "Dateline NBC"
8. In March, John Leguizamo visited Fairbanks to help open a kids' ice park devoted to ________
A) "Ice Age: The Meltdown"
B) "Cars"
C) Any film besides "Basic Instinct 2" that's not bound to
suck at the box office
9. This fall, The WB and UPN will be ceasing to become ________
A) The CW
B) My Network TV
C) A network determined to bury NBC to fifth place
10. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt gave birth to Shiloh Jolie-Pitt in _________
A) Namibia
B) South Africa
C) Some African country we don't even give a damn about
11. James Frey wrote "A Million Little _______", but then admitted he fabricated it all up
A) Pieces
B) Stories
C) Lies That Would Make Oprah Tear Out Her Hair and Scold Him in Disgust, Just Like I Did With Two Of My Classmates Who Didn't Stick Around for John Leguizamo When He Visited Fairbanks In March!!!
Happy 4th of July, everybody!
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