Britney Spears' career: 1999-2007

Hello, everybody. On Sunday, as the new NFL season got underway, we mourned the loss of a once popular career who died after her much anticipated "comeback performance". A career who once sold millions of albums and packed venues around the world and was on the minds of horny young boys long before Hayden Panettiere and the girls of "High School Musical" (especially Vanessa Hudgens after that nude photo scandal). And a career who hit the skids after marrying some loser who knocked her up not once, but twice. Sunday, we mourned the death of the career of Britney Jean Spears.

Yes, at Sunday night's MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas, Britney opened the show with her performance of her new single "Gimme More." Well, it was more like "Gimme the Remote", because it was more like a trainwreck than a comeback. Right from the first few seconds, everything fell out of place. Looking out of shape and out of practice, Britney stumbled several times; she even forgot the lip-sync. The audience at the Palms Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas -- where the awards were held -- were stonefaced at what has transpired.

Now this was a far cry from 2000, when her performance in a flesh-colored suit literally had the whole world talking (including yours truly in a "Plain Truth" on the old Allen Report)...or was I thinking of her liplock with Madonna three years later?

But Britney's disaster wasn't the only bad thing coming out of the VMA's. Pamela Anderson's exes, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock, exchanged fisticuffs off-camera while Alicia Keys performed; that video is on MTV.com.

But aside from the overall mess...it is an awards show, and there were moonmen to be handed out. Justin Timberlake collected the most with four including Male Artist of the Year (to go along with an Emmy he won at the Creative Arts awards for "Penis In A Box"; can't say the real title), while Video of the Year honors went to Rihanna's "Umbrella." And the only sensible performances of the night belonged to Alicia Keys and Chris Brown, who channeled his Michael Jackson.

Back in the day, it was the Video Music Awards that served as home to the most outrageous and once-in-a-lifetime moments you won't see on other awards shows. But in the last few years, ratings for the show (and MTV in general) have been dropping, and this year's was cut back from the usual three hours to two. It was way better when everything was all on one stage, but after what we've seen on Sunday, I've completely given up on the VMAs as I'm pushing 30. Let's hope that the Emmys next Sunday, even with Ryan Suckrest -- I mean, Seacrest -- as host, won't meet the same fate.

As for Britney now, whose much-anticipated return album drops in November? After what we've seen lately, this is one CD that won't be in my iPod (even if I decide to replace my current one with the 160-gig Classic that's now out) anytime soon! Is her career dead on arrival? Find out on November 13. I know I won't. So long and stay strong!

RATINGS UPDATE (9/12): Despite Britney's sluggish performance as well as the overall poor execution of the show, Sunday's VMAs drew 7.1 million viewers -- a 23% increase from last year. It was also the highest-rated cable program of the year in the 12-34 age group.