Thursday, November 25, 2010

Hello everybody, as I'm sure you're setting up the dinner tables for Thanksgiving.

We begin my feast first up with the one weather story that's been heavily ignored in the news (thanks a lot, TSA airport pat-downs!), unless if you happen to be in a certain part of the country: The Great Alaska Ice Storm of 2010!

This week, unexpected temperatures in the 30s combined with freezing rain has wreaked havoc in both Anchorage and Fairbanks, leaving roads deserted with little to no traffic and closing down schools. Now we have been used to the other way around every winter (i.e., sub-zero temperatures), but this has been ridiculous.

But the worst is far from over, as temps will be dropping to the single digits by this weekend. If I were you, I would be better off avoiding the stores at the crack of dawn Friday morning.

Now...the countdown to what could be the wedding of the century. Prince William, after two decades of living the single life, popped the question to Kate Middleton...but not before the couple went public on it in a televised interview. And now we've learned that the date and place are now set: April 29, 2011 at Westminster Abbey.

So...who is Kate Middleton? She's 28 years old, her parents were in the airline industry before they started a mail-order party supply business, and is a fashionista. She met William while they were both attending the University of St. Andrews in Scotland, and the two have been on-again, off-again, and then on-again in the years since.

This is shaping up to be the one royal wedding that is estimated to be viewed by close to 3 billion people worldwide, as opposed to the 750 million that tuned in to the Prince Charles/Lady Diana Spencer wedding in 1981...which, ironically, also happened on the 29th (July 29, 1981). In three months prior to the 30th anniversary of those fractured nuptials, this royal wedding will not only be bittersweet for Prince William at the very same site for his mother's funeral, but a celebration and tribute as he and future Duchess Kate Middleton continue to upgrade the Royal Family for a new generation. The Queen now on Facebook was just the beginning.

Well, one thing we should all be thankful for is that the coveted mirror ball trophy on "Dancing With The Stars" this time ended up in the hands of Jennifer Grey and -- in a three-peat -- Derek Hough rather than Bristol Palin; she and Mark Ballas finished third behind Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer. Of course the show was pretty much "Everybody Hates Bristol" because thanks to her, underdogs like Rick Fox, Florence Henderson, David Hasselhoff and others were shown the door.

But I tell you, folks: When Brandy was unceremoniously booted off last week putting Bristol in the finals along with Jennifer and Kyle, millions of viewers especially loyal "Dancing" fans were pissed off like never before. They bitched and moaned on the show's message boards, on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube; even ABC's switchboard was flooded with complaints. Can you say "conspiracy theory"?

And then we finally pinpointed the mastermind behind all this: Kevin DuJan, conservative blogger for HillBuzz.org. He was 100% responsible for Bristol staying alive throughout the season, urging us to keep voting for her multiple times by creating as many phony e-mail addresses as possible. So in the case of the finals, the time was come to fight fire with fire to ensure that Jennifer and Kyle would keep Bristol at bay...and in the end, it worked.

The controversy surrounding Bristol proved to be a ratings bonanza, as 24 million viewers watched the finale and the show pulling in monster ratings for ABC, which will continue when "Dancing" returns in the spring as they hope to finally unseat the ailing "American Idol" as the year's #1 show. By the way, Sarah Palin was in the middle of her book tour when she learned that her daughter wouldn't be bringing the mirror ball trophy home to Wasilla, though she tweeted her congratulations to everybody saying that "competition is good."

So...what does the future hold for Bristol now? Like I said before, win or lose "Dancing With The Stars" has already set you for life...well, except for Season 9 contestant and former embattled Congressman Tom DeLay, who was convicted on Wednesday for money laundering and may be part of a new show: "Dancing With The Inmates"! By the way, foot injuries forced Tom to pull himself out.


One other footnote: Ratings for Sarah's TLC show "Sarah Palin's Alaska" dropped 40% from last week's debut. Guess the only thing we'll be seeing from the Palin house will be a cancellation notice!

And last but not least...as part of her farewell season, Oprah Winfrey pulled out all the stops for her last "Favorite Things" extravaganza. Among the items in the gift list of all gift lists: The Apple iPad, Andre Walker Haircare Products (Andre Walker being Oprah's longtime hairdresser), UGG boots, the Herb Savor, a five-year Netflix membership, Baker's Edge baking pans and Ghiradelli brownie mix, the Nikon D3100 digital camera, a Sony 3-D TV, even a seven-day cruise to the Caribbean aboard Royal Caribbean's mammoth "Allure Of The Seas", and perhaps the biggest kicker of them all...the keys to a 2012 Volkswagen Beetle...which will be out in May!! The total value for all of these: $36,837!!!

For years, "Oprah's Favorite Things" has been called "the hottest ticket in television", but next week Ellen DeGeneres will try to do one better with her "12 Days of Giveaways." And let me tell you: The neat swag this year will cause Santa's elves to work overtime making sure your Christmas tree will be fuller than ever with your stocking stuffed to the brim! So long, stay strong, and happy Thanksgiving!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Can Bristol Palin be stopped?????

Hello, everybody.

Three years ago on this very blog, I finally had something to get off my chest when I took John Dean's famous quote from the Watergate hearings about a cancer growing on the presidency of Richard Nixon and substituted "Sanjaya Malakar" and "American Idol" for Nixon. Well, some weeks later, that cancer was finally removed.

But now in 2010, we have a brand new kind of cancer that's been spreading for some time on "Dancing With The Stars"...and that cancer, of course, is BRISTOL PALIN!!!!!! For weeks, you have all been wondering to yourselves, "When will Jonathan finally offer his own two cents on this???!!!", Well, the time has arrived.

For those of you just back from a long trip to the moon, Bristol is Sarah Palin's older daughter who has been on a reign of terror as of late. Thanks to her, a lot of names have been dropping like flies: Florence Henderson, Audrina Patridge, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Rick Fox, Michael Bolton, and Kurt Warner to name a few. Now she along with Kyle Massey and heavy favorites Brandy and Jennifer Grey are in the semi-finals, which has either delighted or angered millions of viewers tuning in to the hit ABC show.

So now we cue up the "Unsolved Mysteries" theme music and ask the question: Who is behind all this???? Well, it can be summed up in three simple words: Tea Party Movement! It helped the Republicans win back the House from the Democrats in the mid-term elections (leaving President Obama bloodied, but not physically), and it is already helping Bristol. Closer to home, Anchorage radio DJs Bob and Mark are leading the charge as well, though they have been kissing the Palins' asses for several years they need a lifetime supply of Chap Stick to keep their lips moist.

Okay, here comes the part you've been whetting your appetite for for so long:

Well, some show called "American Idol" has been ruling the TV ratings, even if portion of Season 5 was briefly called "The Sanjaya Malakar Show" before he got the boot. And after so many years, with Paula Abdul and later Simon Cowell out, we have finally had enough of the craze and wanted out.

Last season's "Dancing With The Stars" was headlined by the likes of Pamela Anderson, Apollo 11 astronaut Buzz Aldrin, and Kate Gosselin. They finally beat "Idol" in the ratings thanks to that lineup;
but in the end, "Idol" held on to become the #1 show for the sixth straight year, surpassing "All In The Family" and "The Cosby Show."

This season, it's all about expecting the unexpected. One side tells me America has had enough of Bristol and really wants her out, but there's another side that says something worth repeating again: "Dancing With The Stars" is doing anything it takes to be the one show that will finally end "American Idol's" long reign, and Bristol Palin may be one of their secret weapons. Of course she won't win (I'm pulling for either Brandy or Jennifer), but it'll sure help.

Let's face it, folks: ABC hasn't had a #1 show since "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?" was red-hot. I think ten years is good enough. But then again, the Tea Party supporters rooting for Bristol Palin have already drunk way too much Kool-Aid. So long and stay strong.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Hello, everybody.

By the time this blog is put to bed, America will be going to the polls in this mid-term election. For the Republicans, this could be their chance to be like 1994 all over again in an attempt to gain full control of Capitol Hill; for the Democrats, it's all or nothing in a fight for survival with the slumping economy once again high priority among voters.

Here in Alaska, we've got a three-way showdown for Senate, with Democrat Scott McAdams, Republican Joe Miller, and incumbent/write-in candidate Lisa Murkowski.

Murkowski lost to Miller in the August primaries, but for the last month or so, Lisa has been on the move showing the true meaning of perseverance as her seat is still on the line. McAdams is suddenly becoming the underdog, while Miller? Hate to say it, but his supporters are already turning their backs on him and going either way to ensure the Tea Party-backed candidate won't reach Washington.

In the gubernatorial race, it's incumbent Sean Parnell (who inherited the reins from Sarah Palin last year) vying for a full term vs. Ethan Berkowitz. The forecast may call for a Parnell victory, but like all other elections, there are no guarantees.

All 435 House seats are up for grabs today as well as 37 Senate seats, 38 gubernatorial races, and hundreds of state and city mayoral races to be decided. For Palin, she may be the one person crossing her fingers hoping Miller or Christine O'Donnell (no relation of course to Charlie O'Donnell, the longtime announcer of "Wheel Of Fortune" and other shows who died on Monday at 78; I tweeted that sad news) may pull off a last-minute miracle.

But whichever way you do it, do your duty as a citizen and vote. And when the polls start closing across the country at 8:00 in all time zones...let 'er rip, 'cause that's when the waiting begins! Because after all...it's your choice. So long, stay strong, and get out and vote!!!

(By the way...I'll be posting updates throughout the night on both Twitter and Facebook, so make sure you follow me)