Saturday, March 31, 2007

The Sexiest 30 (or 60) Seconds on Television!

Hello everybody as we head into the weekend! Now as promised yesterday, I have put together a list that is so hot it has made television sets melt every time it hits the air during the breaks! If you're getting tired of excessive ads that feature talking mucus or improving your sex life, this is the one for you. Here now, is my countdown of the...

TOP TEN SEXIEST TV COMMERCIALS OF ALL-TIME

10. Paris Hilton for Carl's Jr., 2005 (maybe this is why they opened up the Carl's Jr. restaurant here in Fairbanks a while back! By the way...for a regional chain, I say they're better than Burger King)

9. Diet Coke Break, 1993 (this ad features office workers watching a shirtless Lucky Vanous swigging a Diet Coke. No wonder why his first name is "Lucky"

8.
Maidenform bras, 1956 (these were the first ever lingerie commercials, and even for 1956, they were pretty much erotic)

7. Jessica Simpson for Pizza Hut's Cheesy Bites Pizza, 2006 (Miss Piggy did her own version of the same ad, but I'd rather have Simpson pop those bites into my mouth than Piggy)

6. Doritos 3D, 1998 (premiering during the Super Bowl, it may have had future "Will & Grace" star Sean Hayes, but the real star was Ali Landry, who went from a ho-hum former Miss USA into an instant star overnight)

5. Cindy Crawford for Pepsi, 1992 (I bet the two boys still have the hard-on they got from Cindy while filming this. A remake was done a decade or so later, this time with a still-stunning Cindy and her two kids.)

4. RGX Bodyspray, 2007 (these are brand new, and are already catching on quickly. But it's not as hot as...)

3. Old Spice High Endurance, 2006 (This is the one with Taylor Cole dancing up a sweat. Boy, that made us sweat just watching her hawk deodorant!)

2. Victoria's Secret, 2001?-present (Just watching beautiful women sell and model lingerie at the same time for 30 seconds always give us nasty thoughts)

And the #1 sexiest television commercial of all-time is so hot, it has been shown only in overseas theaters. And with 360 million views, it has become the fourth most popular viral video ever. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...

1. Kylie Minogue for Agent Provocateur (2002)
(And five years later, even after battling breast cancer, we still couldn't stand up after watching her!)

So there you have it: Ten reasons why sex has really sold for over 50 years, and for good reason. But I don't think anyone will ever top the Agent Provocateur ad...maybe Carmen Electra in a home-grown version.

With that said...have a great weekend!

Friday, March 30, 2007

There she goes...back off the air, again!

Hello, everybody. I've got lots of territory to cover as always, so on with the show!

First up...after only two years, CMT announced today they have dropped the Miss America Pageant, leaving the Super Bowl of beauty pageants without a television home -- again!

The cable outlet, which picked up the pageant where ABC left off, had those rights through 2011. But in a statement, they said they won't exercise its option in 2008 or beyond. A CMT executive said it wasn't ratings behind the decision, but its focus on original programming.

With Miss America off the air once again, the search for a new TV home is immediately underway. One group that seems to be highly interested are the Turner networks, as TBS or TNT may pick it up.

Why them? It's real simple: TBS used to have the Golden Globe Awards for years before NBC carried them in 1996 and made them the huge event we know of today. TNT's highest-rated event every year since 2003 is the NBA All-Star Game. Also, both simulcast the Screen Actors Guild Awards after its first two shows were broadcast on NBC. And TNT also serves as home to the annual "Christmas In Washington" specials after spending several years at NBC.

The only thing I watched regularly on TNT until WWE bought them in 2001 was "WCW Monday Nitro"; nowadays, we can relive it all thanks to YouTube.

Now, back to Miss America: TNT/TBS may not be the only ones on the prowl, but FX as well. Whether or not the main Fox network will be involved too, we don't know. USA and Bravo will say no, as mother network NBC already has the Miss Universe family of pageants...which used to belong to CBS for over three decades, and they'll turn down Miss America as well.

In the end, I'd like to see TNT pick up the pageant next because they want to maintain its tradition. Heck, they broke a part of it when it was moved from its longtime home in Atlantic City to Las Vegas, and that's okay. I don't want Miss America go to waste without a television home in its over 80 years. But that's not the only thing everybody's talking about now.

In 1973, White House counsel John Dean told Richard Nixon that "there was a cancer growing on the presidency" in the wake of the Watergate scandal. Well, flash forward 34 years later to 2007, and right now there is a different kind of cancer growing on us that has yet to be removed...and that cancer is
Sanjaya Malakar!!!

That's right! If you've been watching (or ignoring) "American Idol" these last few weeks, we are in the middle of a mystery that even the late Robert Stack couldn't solve: Why is this no-talent hack still in?

To refresh your memory, Sanjaya is this 17-year old half-Indian, half-Italian hailing from Seattle whose awful singing combined with boyish looks is keeping him in the competition. Not even a mohawk he sported while missing a few words on Tuesday couldn't stop him.

So, who have we pointed our fingers to? One key factor is Howard Stern, who has launched a campaign for his Sirius satellite radio listeners to vote for him. Another is
Votefortheworst.com, which has had some successes in the last couple of years (Carrie Underwood, Taylor Hicks, and Jennifer Hudson among them).

But I know millions of us are already sick and tired of "American Idol" becoming "The Sanjaya Show", and have done something about it. Few have went even as far as to going on hunger strikes until Sanjaya gets the boot. However, I do have some alternatives, and I'm going to share them with you as I list my....


TOP FIVE OTHER WAYS WE CAN DO TO HELP VOTE SANJAYA MALAKAR OFF "AMERICAN IDOL"

5.Hang an effigy of him in your frontyard

4. Dub Apu's (of "The Simpsons") voice and edit it into footage of Sanjaya singing and put the video on YouTube

3. Make him a last-minute replacement for Vince McMahon's wrestler in the Hair vs. Hair match between him and Donald Trump at this weekend's Wrestlemania 23

2. Have somebody as Sanjaya pull a Britney with paparazzi snapping him exiting his car naked from the waist down

And the #1 other way we can do to help vote Sanjaya Malakar off of "American Idol"...

1. For God's sake, just don't watch the goddamn show!!!!!!!

Like I said, Sanjaya Malakar is the cancer right now, and he should be removed as soon as possible. But if he goes all the way and wins "American Idol"...then it'll be one of the saddest days in television history. Can you imagine the crowd at the Kodak Theatre throwing eggs and garbage at the stage immediately after Ryan Seacrest names him the winner? I know I would.

Tomorrow, I have another list; the "Top Ten Sexiest TV Commercials of All-Time". Who has made our sets hot and heavy every time it airs during the breaks? Find out as I count them down from #10 to #1! See you then, and good night.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY!

Good evening. In 1978, it was his father Dick who beat Rick Swenson by a lead dog's muzzle. Five years later, it was his son Rick who came from behind to reach Front Street. And now tonight, after spending 9 days, 9 hours, 8 minutes, and 41 seconds on the trail, Fairbanks' own Lance Mackey wearing bib number 13 wins the 2007 Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race on -- ironically enough -- March 13!

Mackey crossed under the Burled Arch in Nome at 8:08 pm, and his rewards for reaching first include $69,000 and a new Dodge Truck. But even though he's officially off the trail doesn't mean the race is over. Paul Gebhardt will be making his way to Nome; he left Safety at 7:11 pm. Martin Buser, Zack Steer, and Jeff King will later follow him as the three have left White Mountain.

From one generation to another and now another...Lance Mackey, just weeks after winning the Yukon Quest, has made dog mushing history tonight by claiming victory in both that race and the Iditarod in the same year. No other musher has scored that feat until now, and Lance did it. With that said...good night.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Hello, everybody. One year ago today on March 12, 2006, was the day that Fairbanks met Hollywood. Because on that day, actor John Leguizamo paid a little visit to the Golden Heart City as he promoted "Ice Age: The Meltdown" by opening a specially themed kids' ice park named after the movie with then-governor Frank Murkowski joining alongside him. I covered it all in this very blog.

It was quite a major event by having a well-talented and internationally known actor like Leguizamo set foot in this town, and it paid off in the end as "The Meltdown" would open at #1 at the end of the month; that's the good news. The really good news? It buried the much-hyped and anticipated "Basic Instinct 2", which earned $3.2 million and became the ultimate motion picture laughingstock of 2006. At the annual Razzie awards that took place on Oscar Weekend, the film picked up three awards for Worst Screenplay, Actress (Sharon Stone), and Picture.

Anyway, the next day I was on media watch to see if anybody other than the News-Miner covered Leguizamo. I was disappointed, as all the local newscasts had soundbites while on the entertainment shows side, "Entertainment Tonight" had five seconds of footage. A local video production company, Moving Images, used Anchorage station KTUU's satellite truck parked outside the warm-up center to feed their video of the visit to the world...if anybody cared about it.

But yes, it all transpired exactly one year ago tonight, and now we move forward to today and the latest on the Iditarod.

Lance Mackey over the weekend has taken the lead from Jeff King as he entered Elim at 5:55pm and out six minutes later. He's followed by Paul Gebhardt, who exited Elim at 8:30; Martin Buser, King, and Zack Steer round out the top five.

Mackey won his third straight Yukon Quest weeks ago, and he could be well on his way to pulling double duty as far as the Iditarod is concerned. And if my estimations are correct, if things hold up for him, we may be seeing him approach Nome sometime around Wednesday afternoon or evening. But don't count out Gebhardt; he's hot on Mackey's trail and depending on the conditions, we could be seeing 1978 all over again (when Rick Swenson and Dick Mackey were paw-to-paw with Swenson having the advantage; but in the end, it was Mackey by a hair). We'll find out as the 35th Iditarod reaches the homstretch, and so long!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Hello, everybody. Lots of stuff to bring up, so let's not waste any time.

First up, the 35th running of the Iditarod, and the forecast may call for a neck-and-neck finish next week. Defending champion Jeff King has taken the lead from Martin Buser, leaving Eagle Island at 12:55pm Saturday with Buser far behind five minutes later. Paul Gephardt, Lance Mackey, and Zack Steer round out the top five so far.

Now during the past week, Buser ruled the trail, including reaching the Yukon River first on Friday with $3,500 (in $1 bills) and a seven-course meal as his reward. The meal started with a king crab apple tower with horseradish cream, then smoked corn bisque and goat cheese dumpling. For the main course, it was a seafood course of prawns and scallops with pancetta and pomegranante mustard and a meat course of seared ostrich medallions. Jicama salad followed by bittersweet chocolate crepes and a cheese plate with pear poached in port finished off the meal.

Of course, the big story in the first few miles were that injuries suffered by Doug Swingley and Dee Dee Jonrowe forced them of the race prematurely.

As things stand out right now, Buser wants to join Rick Swenson (27th place) in the "Five-Timers Club" while King's on the hunt for a back-to-back entrance to the Burled Arch and his fourth overall. We'll find out when the two are about to make their way to the coast.

And now, something I've brought up in the newsgroups earlier this week concerning a television institution in trouble:

For the last few months now, "Soul Train" has been airing classic episodes from the '70s and '80s in lieu of the new episodes they've been taping for this season. Why, you ask?

Here's why: in recent years, ratings for the show has dropped hard to below 1.0 as stations who used to show Soul Train on Saturday afternoons have buried it to middle-of-the-night time slots. Tribune Entertainment -- Soul Train's syndicator since 1985 -- was very unhappy at these bits of news, and plans were made to derail the Train (i.e., canceling the show) after 35 years as television's longest- running, first-run syndicated program. When Don Cornelius heard about this, the only way he's been doing to save his franchise -- which includes the annual Soul Train Music Awards, in which this year's is coming up -- is to crack open the vaults and air the old episodes as "The Best of Soul Train."

The new episodes for the 36th season have been taped since December and were supposed to air starting in February, but the response (and the ratings) for the classic shows have been tremendous and those new shows will still have to wait a while.

What does the future hold for Soul Train? Well, Tribune has been in financial peril lately, and a change in syndicators may be the best way to keep the Train chugging for a bit longer. King World might be interested, as the shows they've distributed (Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy, Oprah Winfrey) have been atop the syndication ratings for over 20 years. Another is NBC Universal, because they'll be without a first-run weekly (George Michael Sports Machine) after this month. If the current run of Family Feud can switch from one distributor to
another (Tribune to Debmar-Mercury), so should Soul Train! Of course, that could mean stations running the show once again in the Saturday afternoon slots where they belong(ed).

I wouldn't be surprised if we'll be hearing "The SOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUULLLLLLL TRAIN!!!!!!!" come their 37th season...that is, if the show will be in HD.


Yes, "Soul Train" is on the bubble, and with BET as well as the explosion of YouTube and iTunes on the Internet the show may be given its last rites even if classic episodes from 20 to 30 years ago have been running. Look at "American Bandstand"; it was the only place to be to get your music fix on television until MTV spelled the beginning of the end. I have watched Soul Train on and off for as long as I can remember, and even though they've changed looks over the last three decades to keep up with the times the format has remained the same.

The annual Soul Train Music Awards (part of the show's franchise) will be held this weekend and will start airing next weekend; but with the way things are going, could it be their last? The future of one on television's longest-running shows 35 years running rests in the hands of Don Cornelius.

And with that...we wish you love, peace, and SOOOOOOOOO long!